


White Blood

by bevin



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Fanfiction, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Loves Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Whump, Hurt, Hurt Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Insecure Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Inspired by Music, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, Oblivious Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Pining Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Touch-Starved, Touch-Starved Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23604601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bevin/pseuds/bevin
Summary: Geralt finally succumbs to what those around him believe him to be. He begins to hate himself, values his life less and less every day until eventually he's lost himself. His own life is meaningless to him and injuries become a routine for him.He's in too deep and only Jaskier can help him find himself.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 1
Kudos: 155





	White Blood

_**I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go** _

Geralt was ready to leave had been for a while. The only reason he hadn't by now was because he was obligated to rid those who didn't deserve monsters such as himself roaming around causing chaos. The fact that he was ready to leave showed despite his efforts to hide it. It showed in the way he fought only defending himself when it was truly necessary and even then hesitating to do so. Showed even more so when he was engrossed within the vile creatures he fought always having mercy as he put them out of there misery. 

And once he had done so he always lingered a moment too long looking at the now-dead creature with a sense of longing. 

Had it been anyone else it would have been concerning the way his amber eyes held such sorrow and longing as he would stare at the creature he had just slain. 

But Geralt wasn't anyone else he was Geralt of Rivia an absolute monster and everyone knew it.

_**Can't do it alone, can't do it alone** _

That was until a strikingly cheerful and at times feral bard appeared in his life. Always following him with a sense of admiration and something else he could never quite place within the striking blue eyes. Always joking and making light of the situation, which admittedly was hard to do when he was as detached as he was. In all honesty, he had to give Jaskier props for that despite the fact that this all seemed like some huge prank.In his own mind, he always thought that this was just Jaskiers way to torment him, get him attached before leaving just as though he had never held a place within Geralt's life. He was used to that at times he got so lonely that he even paid people most of the little coin he had just to tolerate him and be in his company. 

To hell with whether or not the company was genuine or not he just couldn't handle his own thoughts anymore nor could he fathom anymore of the hate he held for himself. He could handle the disgusted looks as soon as they got their coin as long as he wasn't alone for the time being. 

And yet Jaskier proved time and time again that he was different.

 _ **I'm ready to run through the heat of the sun**_

Maybe that's why it was so hard to let the bard in. Because he seemed so different and Geralt didn't have it left in his heart to be disappointed if that wasn't the case. So it was just easier to push him away. 

And yet despite every fight, every refusal of touch and all the times he lashed out at Jaskier he always one step aside from him.It amazed him every day how pure Jaskier was especially so when Jaskier would patch up his wounds, pay for there hotel rooms, and constantly made him feel as though he wasn't some unbearable monster.

_**Can't do it alone, can't do it alone** _

Jaskier had somehow caught on, he saw the way Geralt constantly put himself on the line vigor and stances sometimes seeming to synchronize with the creature almost as though he was putting himself in the other's shoes. Saw how broken bones became a serenade for Geralt. It quite frankly hurt to see the other that way because they both knew that it was intentional, they both knew that Geralt was capable of being alot faster and graceful than that. 

He saw that the swords coming in contact or close to coming in contact with Geralt's pale skin was no accident. 

His heart always gave out to the Witcher who always looked at the dead with longing, who just tolerated the villager's pathetic treatment despite it hurting him. 

And yet he was helpless never knowing how exactly to approach the situation. He knew this was Geralt's way of punishing himself for his own gnawing self-hatred. 

It hurt but he tried to let the other know that he was here for him in any way that he could, always there for him. Whether it be in the way his touches always lingered on the Witchers skin for moments too long, soft small things like braiding the man's hair, the comforting words he praised him with when he truly needed it or even just checking up on him to make sure he was eating well and not selflessly giving up his food for Jaskiers sake. 

God, he cared he truly cared for the witcher more than he'd like to admit. 

Cared so much that watching the Witcher deteriorate like this was painful.

Scars marred Geralt's skin like it was nothing, he seemed to receive a new one every day. It never took away from how beautiful he was but it was terrible to see the self-loathing within Geralt's eyes as he criticized them. Jaskier couldn't watch any longer. I'm ready to fall, so tired of it all He couldn't bring himself to watch the man he valued so dearly to inflict anymore emotional or physical pain upon himself.

This had gone on long enough and so with shaking hands, the bard took the silver-haired man's hands within his own. 

The man flinched slightly trying to unclasp his hands from Jaskier's but he wouldn't let him. If anything he just needed to grant himself this peace of knowing that Geralt would no longer hide away from himself. Would no longer hideaway From him. And so he spoke gently as he memorized the feeling of Geralt's rough calloused hands upon his own.

''Geralt'' A few moments went by and Jaskier took a tentative step forward.

He needed to do this, needed this conversation.

''..Please Geralt''

''Hmm?'' The Witcher muttered as Jaskier rolled his eyes fondly at the typical Geralt response.

''Talk to me please.'' He cheered slightly to himself as amber eyes met his own blue hues.

''...About?''

''I think you know Geralt.'' His own eyes hardened slightly to which the other immediately noticed.

'' I don't know what to say''

_**Down deep in a hole, can't do it alone** _

''Just talk to me, for once let yourself speak about it, let me help carry this burden. Let me show you that you aren't alone.'' 

For once the Witcher let himself be human, he succumbed to Jaskiers embrace and didn't bother pushing him away this time. He spoke of the horrid treatment of the villagers, about how he never belonged, and how he was ready to leave it all behind. How he would have ended it all if it weren't for the fact that he knew that there was no heaven for someone of his kind.

_**I'm ready to climb this mountain inside Impossible heights** _

Jaskier listened to it all, tears of his own coursing down his cheeks as he held Geralt. It was terrible hearing his worst fears confirmed, knowing that Geralt truly was that down that he didn't want to exist. The more he listened the tighter he held Geralt hoping to make up for the times he had felt alone.They talked till the early hours of the morning until finally, they succumbed into the deep depths of sleep in a tangle of limbs.

_**Said you'd always be my white blood** _

_Geralt the white wolf was Jaskiers purpose. It was left unsaid and yet they both knew._

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the song White Blood by Oh Wonder.


End file.
